


Help this disaster

by Shmin



Category: Food Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: i cant with the new food souls theyre so confusing, i'll add more later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-03-14 18:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18953632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmin/pseuds/Shmin
Summary: I've decided that this should be my first fic on here cause this fandom noyl have one chatficalso slight to major ooc cause im a bad person and cant





	1. oops the title

Cola has invited Hamburger, Steak, and fourteen others

Cola: Hi welcome to Chili's

Hamburger: i love you

Boston Lobster: that's gay

Cola: stfu u gay

Black Tea: What is this?

Peking Duck: You really dont need to type properly, no one cares

Black Tea: gtfo

Black Tea: How's that?

Milk: I am proud of you

Napoleon Cake change their name to "Pastel give me more sugar pls"

Pastel give me more sugar pls: Please

Pastel de Nata: No

Brownie: You've already had too much, don't.

Hamburger: all of you have boring nicknames, cola u take half

Cola: yeet yeet

Vodka: what in the absolute heck does that mean

Cola has changed Black Tea's name to "Ocean (wo)man"

Ocean (wo)man: I-

Hamburger changed Milk's name to "Jugs nam"

Jugs nam: Jugs of milk, yes

Jugs nam has changed their name to "Respect waman"

Respect waman: Much better

Ocean (wo)man: Mood

Brownie: Daily reminder to drink your respect women juice

Vodka: Big agree

Hamburger: My apologies ma'am you've shown me the light, praise women.

Respect waman: Yes, I've done my job.

Cola: yes but

Cola has changed Peking Duck's name to "Daddy Duck Do Do DoDO DoDo"

Daddy Duck Do Do DoDO DoDo: Cursed, my children should not be brought into this hell hole

Vodka: That's too long jfc

Daddy Duck Do Do DoDO DoDo had changed their name to "Daddy Duck"

Daddy Duck: Where is everyone else by the way?

Cola: Hams, you've failed

Hamburger: im sORRY

Cola: go while I change usernames bro

Hamburger: gotchu bro

Cola: peking ur name has to be fun ban ur children from ur phone

Daddy Duck: Kill me

Boston Lobster: Gladly

Daddy Duck: oh fuck you

Boston Lobster: wow rude

Cola has changed Boston Lobster's name to "Pain Kink?"

Pain Kink?: What the absolute FUCK

Ocean (wo)man: First swear has been taken

Coffee: I hate this already

Pain Kink?: idfk how to change it

Pain Kink?: how do i change it

Pain Kink?: save me

Tiramisu: Suffer

Tiramisu: Good afternoon all!

Pain Kink?: wtf was that

Cola: Shut up while I change these names unless you want a death warrant

Pain Kink?: Fight me

Cola has changed B-52's name to "Beep Boopx15"

Cola has changed Brownie's name to "Smol Sebastian"

Cola has changed Chocolate's name to "Dumb Bi"

Cola has changed Coffee's name to "Ultimate T-pose"

Cola has changed Tiramisu's name to "Little Mix x Monika"

Cola has changed Vodka's name to "Actually The Drunk Aunt"

Cola has changed Daddy Duck's name to "THE CHILDREN"

Cola has changed Pastel de Nata's name to "Pastel Patel"

Cola has changed Pastel give me more sugar pls's name to "I envy Cookie Monster"

Cola has changed Gingerbread's name to "Smol Angers"

Cola has changed Steak's name to "1 inch shorter"

Cola has changed Red Wine's name to "1 inch taller"

1 inch shorter: cuRSED

Pain Kink?: Weird flex but ok

Little Mix x Monika: Strange boast, but alas

Beep Boopx15: Peculiar flaunt, however very well.

1 inch taller: Unusual way to display something in order to provoke envy or admiration, but still somewhat acceptable.

Cola has changed their name to "Pepsi"

Pepsi: Improved

Hamburger: WAIT

Hamburger has changed their name to "I Am Real Man"

Ocean (wo)man: Dear lord help us

Respect waman: Please bless us with Pretzel so he can cleanse this chat

1 inch taller: I wanna end me


	2. I have no idea whats happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did not proofread and I am horrible at everything I do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made a list for the names
> 
>  
> 
> B-52: Beep Boopx15
> 
> Black Tea: Ocean (wo)man
> 
> Boston Lobster: Pain Kink?
> 
> Brownie: Smol Sebastian
> 
> Chocolate: Dumb Bi
> 
> Coffee: Ultimate T-pose
> 
> Cola: Pepsi
> 
> Gingerbread: Smol Angers
> 
> Hamburger: I Am Real Man
> 
> Milk: Respect waman
> 
> Napoleon Cake: I envy Cookie Monster
> 
> Red Wine: 1 inch taller
> 
> Tiramisu: Little Mix x Monika
> 
> Steak: 1 inch shorter
> 
> Pastel de Nata: Pastel Patel
> 
> Peking Duck: THE CHILDREN
> 
> Vodka: Actually The Drunk Aunt

Ocean (wo)man: I have a question

 

Ocean (wo)man: Multiple questions

 

Pepsi: Shoot

 

I Am Real Man: me

 

Ocean (wo)man: okay but answer my questions first

 

Pepsi: IM TRYING

 

Pepsi: BUT I NEED THE QUESTIONS FIRST

 

Ocean (wo)man: uuuh

 

Ocean (wo)man: Does MA know?

 

Ocean (wo)man: Why are there people missing?

 

Pepsi: Look okay

 

Pepsi: It gets crowded maan

 

Ocean (wo)man: wh-

 

1 inch taller: What the fuck does that mean

 

1 inch shorter: Petition to change our names

 

1 inch taller: How about 1 cm taller and 1 cm shorter?

 

1 inch shorter: Fuck off

 

Pepsi: Also MA doesn't know please dont tell MA

 

I Am Real Man: We'll get in trouble nnnn

 

Pepsi: Oh btw

 

Pepsi: @THE CHILDREN u have Yuxiang's #?

 

THE CHILDREN: cnxcxaopirucns

 

I Am Real Man: wot

 

Pepsi: D-did he die?

 

Ocean (wo)man: Someone save the poor man

 

THE CHILDREN: Yes I do

 

THE CHILDREN: And I am fine, the children wanted to type something.

 

Pepsi: Cool add her

 

Ocean (wo)man: y e s

 

THE CHILDREN has added Yuxiang

 

THE CHILDREN: Hello, I've invited you to suffer

 

Yuxiang: hmu if you wanna smoke that good shit

 

Yuxiang: I mean what

 

Yuxiang: This isn't the groupchat I was expecting

 

Pepsi as changed Yuxiang's name to "Weed Mom"

 

Weed Mom: Don't do drugs kids

 

THE CHILDREN: Hypocrite

 

Weed Mom: stfu Weed Dad

 

Little Mix x Monika: Weed but what would fucking off look like literally?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: HOOOOLY SHIRT

 

Little Mix x Monika: What the heck

 

I envy Cookie Monster: I just imagined it and also I'm on the run and also weed

 

Smol Sebastian: We're exploring together not running from the police but we will be if they see this chat

 

Smol Sebastian: Also who's Sebastian?

 

1 inch taller: oh my god

 

Smol Sebastian: What?

 

Beep Boopx15: Brownie

 

Smol Sebastian: Yes?

 

Beep Boopx15: BROWNIE

 

Ocean (wo)man: Child.

 

Smol Sebastian: I don't understand the issue?

 

Smol Sebastian: Is it a person?

 

Ocean (wo)man: I

 

Beep Boopx15: Once you return you have to watch Black Butler

 

Smol Sebastian: Isn't that an old anime?

 

Ocean (wo)man: Y E S

 

Pepsi: Yo how the heck

 

Pepsi: I need to get the others in on this shit

 

Smol Sebastian: Shame me more, sure.

 

1 inch taller: Hush just search

 

Dumb Bi: sorry to interrupt but what in the absolute heck is my username

 

Ultimate T-pose: Accurate

 

Dumb Bi: You would know

 

Ultimate T-pose: Stop

 

Little Mix x Monika: It's "Stop being gay on main"

 

Ocean (wo)man: That's gay

 

Respect waman: We're gay

 

Ocean (wo)man: u right u right

 

Pain Kink?: I just got on and it's already gay af

 

Dumb Bi: @Ultimate T-pose hmu

 

Ultimate T-pose: Get back to work and then I might

 

Dumb Bi: Why do you hate me so

 

Ocean (wo)man: Disaster you two

 

Dumb Bi: We know

 

Ultimate T-pose: I know

 

Dumb Bi: Wow rude

 

Smol Sebastian: Wait, speaking of rude.

 

Smol Sebastian: I can't be the only one who doesn't know something popular

 

Smol Angers: I mean you probably aren't

 

Smol Angers: Ayo @Pepsi @I Am Real Man insert popular bs

 

Pepsi: Aight

 

I Am Real Man: Yes ma'am

 

Pepsi: Like American stuff cause Brownie's American?

 

Smol Angers: idk i dont remember where we come from like tf

 

Smol Sebastian: I forgot those once existed

 

I Am Real Man: Uuuh, I

 

I Am Real Man: Mickey D's

 

Pepsi: HELL YEEAH

 

1 inch shorter: I feel the freedom

 

1 inch taller: My home is dead and gone

 

Beep Boopx15: Me

 

Respect Waman: Mood

 

Smol Sebastian: B-52 I thought we talked about this

 

Ocean (wo)man: m y l o v e

 

Ocean (wo)man: p l e a s e

 

Gingerbread: Haha suffer

 

1 inch shorter: Feels bad man

 

Dumb Bi: Savage

 

1 inch taller: I will kill you

 

1 inch shorter: Fight me bitch

 

1 inch taller: Meet me in the pit

 

Cola: B-52 YOU'RE CANADIAN???

 

Beep Boopx15: Yes?

 

Smol Sebastian: Is that why you're so polite?

 

Beep Boopx15: ]s23*//`c]%^&

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I'm truimg to habe a dirnk with a fariends and now he's fying

 

Smol Sebastian: What happened

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I think hr judt

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Y'know

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: cant take a complimrny

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: akjd

 

Smol Sebastian: Oh, someone go check on him?

 

Ultimate T-pose: Sure

 

Dumb Bi: okay but wink wink nudge nudge

 

Dumb Bi: And also is he ok

 

Ultimate T-pose: Gimme some time jfc

 

Pepsi: I'm in between saying this is another disaster added to the list

 

Pepsi: And I hate all that everything that happens is expected

 

Pain Kink?: I've just been shown the magic of children movies.

 

THE CHILDREN: They're wonderful aren't they?

 

Dumb Bi: You guys watched children movies together?

 

Cola: Why wasn't I invited???

 

I Am Real Man: Ya where tf are ya'll

 

Pain Kink?: Uuuh

 

THE CHILDREN: We're in Red Wine's room

 

THE CHILDREN: MA allowed us to have a television to watch things

 

Pepsi: Wait RW's with u 2??

 

I Am Real Man: This isnt fair wtf

 

THE CHILDREN: You can join as long as the others are ok with it

 

Pain Kink?: Ugh

 

Pepsi: @1 inch taller @1 inch shorter p l e a s e

 

I Am Real Man: what kid movies are you guys watching anyways?

 

1 inch shorter: Disney

 

1 inch taller: Next up is Mulan

 

Ocean (wo)man: @everyone gather at Red Wine's room we're watching old movies

 

1 inch taller: get food and drinks but if it spills im killing all of you

 

1 inch shorter: figh

 

Smol Angers: no

 

Smol Angers: no fighting

 

Smol Angers: not today

 

Respect waman: i cant make it i have to go out to explore with plum juice

 

Beep Boopx15: I'm dragging Vodka there with Coffee, Chocolate, and Brownie

 

Pepsi: How did all of you gather together??

 

Beep Boopx15: No idea

 

I Am Real Man: @Pastel Patel @I envy Cookie Monster @Little Mix x Monika

 

I envy Cookie Monster: what

 

I envy Cookie Monster: yes

 

I envy Cookie Monster: @Pastel Patel

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Come w/ me

 

I envy Cookie Monster: he's ignoring me nnnn

 

Little Mix x Monika: wow ok rude

 

Little Mix x Monika: but also im busy

 

Little Mix x Monika: tears

 

Ocean (wo)man: smae

 

Pastel Patel: How do I leave?

 

Pastel Patel: Asking for a non-existing friend.

 

Pain Kink?: Honestly same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End me
> 
> This chapter has jumped in so many places


	3. I have wet egg on my face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nihil

I Am Real Man: Yo the movies were great 

I Am Real Man: But also whoever fell asleep first is Shrek reincarnate and that's a fact

 

Pepsi: bro what

 

Smol Angers: stfu both of you

 

Smol Angers: it's literally like 5 am

 

Ultimate T-pose: i was comfortable but nope

 

I Am Real Man: sorry man

 

Pepsi: this cuddle pile is so nice wtf

 

Pepsi: also seeing coffee without glasses is so surreal

 

Ultimate T-pose: sure jan

 

I Am Real Man: im gonna wake up the person next to me

 

Pepsi: left or right?

 

I Am Real Man: keft cux ur on me right

 

Ocean (wo)man: Okay, first of all, you're too tired to type

 

Ocean (wo)man: Second of all, I hate you.

 

I Am Real Man: im soz

 

Ultimate T-pose: sure jan

 

Dumb Bi: You've turned him into a broken record

 

Smol Angers: Watch me

 

Smol Angers: @everyone get tf up losers

 

1 inch taller: eat shit

 

Pastel Patel: One of you add Pretzel we need a priest.

 

1 inch shorter: For what?

 

Smol Angers: Okay but how're some of you guys so awake already??

 

Little Mix x Monika: Uuuuh, maaaaagiiic

 

Pastel Patel: Neither you, I, or Steak are magic food souls

 

Little Mix x Monika: sad face

 

THE CHILDREN: MY CHILDREN

 

Pain Kink?: jfc

 

Pain Kink?: add the damn preacher

 

THE CHILDREN: THE CHILDREN

 

1 inch taller has added Pretzel

 

Pretzel has added Bloody Mary

 

1 inch taller: W H A T

 

1 inch shorter: Excuse me w h at n o w

 

Pretzel: I don't have my mobile device now but I'm Bloody Mary~~

 

1 inch shorter: @Pepsi kill it now

 

Pepsi: wow ok

 

Pretzel: You can't do anything cause this it the priest's phone~~

 

1 inch shorter: shit

 

THE CHILDREN: I'm sorry but who the fuck are you

 

Pretzel: gasp

 

Pretzel: welsldkfjaljgn

 

Smol Sebastian: What have I stumbled upon today?

 

Ocean (wo)man: I am Cola's audible wheeze

 

Respect waman: I am Hamburger's audible snort

 

Ocean (wo)man: ilysm

 

Respect waman: ik&ily2

 

Bloody Mary: So wholesome~~

 

Pretzel: Cease and desist

 

Bloody Mary: Shhhhhusshshhs

 

Little Mix x Monika: Finally

 

Little Mix x Monika: Father, please erase our sins

 

Pretzel: This isn't how it's usually is done but you can all confess your sins to me now

 

Pretzel has changed Bloody Mary's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Beep Boopx15's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Ocean (wo)man's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Smol Sebastian's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Dumb Bi's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Ultimate T-pose's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed I envy Cookie Monster's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed I Am Real Man's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Pepsi's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Respect waman's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed 1 inch taller's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed 1 inch shorter's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Little Mix x Monika's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed THE CHILDREN's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Actually The Drunk Aunt's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Weed Mom's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Smol Angers's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel has changed Pastel Patel's name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel: Before I change the last one, just let it be known that your username is a disgrace to God

 

Pain Kink?: wow rude

 

nihil: he's not wrong

 

Pain Kink?: whoever you are, fuck you

 

nihil: please

 

Pain Kink?: what

 

Pretzel: You need God

 

Pretzel has changed Pain Kink?'s name to "nihil"

 

Pretzel: Confess your sins my children.

 

nihil: Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I've got major gay

 

Pretzel: That isn't a sin, child.

 

nihil: Fuck me daddy

 

Pretzel: P E R I S H

 

nihil: I hear his footsteps and i can sense the holy water

 

nihil: good

 

nihil: suffer

 

Pretzel: Please confess actual sins.

 

nihil: So here's the mf tea

 

nihil: This one time I wanted to sneak into Steak's room to play a prank on him, but instead I vomited on his bed sheets cuz I had eaten too much prior

 

Pretzel: ...

 

nihil: IT WAS YOU

 

nihil: WHO ARE YOU

 

nihil: Father p l e a s e

 

Pretzel: Speak to Steak I'm not getting involved

 

nihil: lmao get recked

 

nihil: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have murdered hundreds of humans.

 

Pretzel: Which one of you is it?

 

Pretzel: Boston Lobster?

 

Pretzel: Bloody Mary?

 

Pretzel: Whiskey?

 

nihil: Whiskey isn't here tho?

 

Pretzel: Oh, B-52?

 

nihil: ...

 

nihil: B-52, don't beat yourself up over something of the past. We've talked about this

 

Pretzel: I assign you a therapist.

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Beep Boopx15"

 

Pretzel: Moving on.

 

Beep Boopx15: brb looking for a therapist

 

nihil: I've written hundreds of love letters to someone I like

 

nihil: I've picked flowers intended for the one I love but never gave it to them

 

nihil: I yearn for the one I hate

 

nihil: jfc lmao

 

Pretzel: My dear lord please help these poor fools

 

nihil: HEY

 

Pretzel: Alright, send the love letters to your lover

 

Pretzel: Send the flowers to your lover or lay them on their bed

 

Pretzel: Stop hating them or stop loving them.

 

nihil: I can sense how unserious he's taking this

 

nihil: is unserious even a word???

 

nihil: No idea

 

nihil: I just stabbed someone

 

Pretzel: Fix their wound, next.

 

nihil: Wow okay, thanks priest

 

nihil: I gave another food soul food poisoning on purpose so they'd stop eating all the sweets, Napoleon Cake.

 

nihil: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PASTEL

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Pastel Patel"

 

nihil: Feels bad man

 

nihil: I almost killed a man 

nihil: Almost

Pretzel: Forgiven now begone

nihil: Wow okay

nihil: I need to shoot Hamburger

nihil: thank you

Pretzel: Acceptable

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Hamburger"

 

Hamburger: Wait this isn't my username

 

Pretzel: I don't know what any of you

 

nihil: gasp

 

nihil: Offended

 

nihil: I am Satan

 

Pretzel: Return to where you came from

 

nihil: ok

Pretzel: Seven confessions to go.

nihil: I have done nothing wrong

Pretzel: I know this and I love you.

 

nihil: This isn't fair

 

Pretzel: Shut up 

 

nihil: ily

 

Pretzel: Stop

 

Pretzel: Get back here

 

Pretzel: Stop leaving

 

Pretzel: Change your names back while I get Bloody Mary

 

nihil: This'll be a pain in the ass

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "I Am Real Man"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "I envy Cookie Monster"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Ultimate T-pose"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Dumb Bi"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "1 inch shorer"

 

Pretzel has changed Little nihil's name to "Mix x Monika"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "THE CHILDREN"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Actually The Drunk Aunt"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Weed Mom"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Smol Angers"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Ocean (wo)man"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Pain Kink?"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Smol Sebastian"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Pepsi"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "Respect waman"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "1 inch taller"

 

Pretzel has changed nihil's name to "1 inch shorter"

 

1 inch shorter: But who vomited in my room

 

1 inch taller: So you finally accept your truth

 

1 inch taller: no

 

Bloody Mary: Where are you Steak? Just asking for a friend

 

1 inch taller: no

 

Bloody Mary: No need to be a hog

 

Bloody Mary: We can share

 

1 inch taller: jfc

 

Pretzel: You're all sinners

 

Bloody Mary: By the way who are all of you? Your usernames are so confusing~~

 

I Am Real Man: Take a guess

 

Pretzel: If I guess more usernames correctly, you go back to your corner

 

Bloody Mary: Yes daddy

 

Pretzel: s t o p

 

Pepsi: Ooo I wanna see them fail

 

Ocean (wo)man: How does this work?

 

Pretzel: Present yourselves

 

Bloody Mary: Give yourselves to us

 

Smol Sebastian: There are two types of people in this world

 

I Am Real Man: gasp

 

Pretzel: Hamburger

 

Bloody Mary: What

 

Pretzel has changed Bloody Mary's name to "Sinner"

 

Bloody Mary: This isn't fair I wasn't ready

 

Pain Kink?: That's what she said

 

Pretzel: Boston Lobster

 

Dumb Bi: Boston Lobster's acronym is BL

 

Ultimate T-pose: Doesn't that also stand for Boy's Love?

 

Bloody Mary: Those lovebirds form Satan's Cafe right?

 

Ultimate T-pose: Lovers?

 

Dumb Bi: ily2

 

Sinner: Now we're tied~~

 

Pretzel: So you can think after all

 

Beep Boopx15: Oof

 

Smol Sebastian: B-52, no

 

Sinner: B-52

 

Pretzel: B-52

 

Sinner: Hah!

 

Pretzel: I can't type fast enough

 

Pretzel: But I'm assuming Smol Sebastian is Brownie?

Smol Sebastian: Correct, I'm pretty obvious aren't I?

 

Sinner: This is bs

 

Pretzel: No this is Patrick

 

THE CHILDREN: HOLY

 

I envy Cookie Monster: jdjksdmvdsv

 

Pepsi: I-

 

Pepsi: You watch Spongebob?

 

Ocean (wo)man: Napoleon's a bottom?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: What

 

Ocean (wo)man: Only bottoms keyboard smash

 

I envy Cookie Monster: oh

 

I envy Cookie Monster: I didn't know that??

 

Ocean (wo)man: Good

 

Smol Sebastian: jfc

 

Pretzel: Ocean (wo)man and Respect waman are Black Tea and Milk repsectively

 

Sinner: wyatt

 

Dumb Bi: what

 

Sinner: Exactly

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Guess who I am!!

 

Sinner: Napo

 

Pretzel: Darn

 

Pretzel: If I were not a holy man I would have stabbed you

 

Sinner: Then I'm glad you're holy and also not sending me to the corner

 

Dumb Bi: How have either of not guessed Pastel Patel

 

Sinner: Pastel de Nata?

 

Ultimate T-pose: Who tf else could it be

 

Pepsi: Okay but Pretzel knows memes

 

I Am Real Man: LOCAL PRIEST DESTROYS COMPETITION WITH MEMES

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I'm too sober for your bs

 

Beep Boopx15: Mood

 

Smol Sebastian: B-52 please

 

Beep Boopx15: oops

 

Pastel Patel: Savage

 

I envy Cookie Monster: WOW

 

I envy Cookie Monster: But you never show up for me

 

Smol Sebastian: It's okay

 

Smol Sebastian: You'll survive

 

Pretzel: Pepsi:Cola::Smol Angers:Gingerbread::Little Mix x Monika:Tiramisu::1 inch taller:Red Wine::1 inch shorter:Steak::THE CHILDREN:Peking Duck::Actually The Drunk Aunt:Vodka::Weed Mom:Yuxiang

 

Bloody Mary: I

 

Bloody Mary: I've been defeated

 

Actually The Drunk Mom: We can drink for victory and loss

 

Weed Mom: Or everything

 

Smol Sebastian: You got wrecked and that is okay

 

Bloody Mary: imbeingdraggedaway

 

Pretzel: Stop

 

1 inch taller: It's fucking ten pm

 

1 inch shorter: oh

 

Smol Sebastian: Oh dear

 

MA has added themself to the chat

 

MA: I can hear all of you screaming

 

MA: Pretzel stop

 

MA: Go the fuck to sleep

 

MA: All of you

 

MA: And I mean all of you


	4. ifyah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone dies

I envy Cookie Monster: @Smol Sebastian

 

Smol Sebastian: Yes?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: C'mereee

 

Smol Sebastian: What for?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Just comeeee

 

Smol Sebastian: I'm coming

 

Pepsi: That's what she said

 

I Am Real Man: Did we just witness a hookup?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: I'm calling the priest on your ass

 

I Am Real Man: pls dont shoot me

 

Beep Boopx15: How do I mute notifications?

 

Pepsi: RUDE

 

Beep Boopx15: I am on delivery duties with Pastel de Nata and Vodka

 

Beep Boopx15: Every time you text I get a notification and it's distracting me.

 

I Am Real Man: Aren't the other two getting notifs?

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: No, I got drunk and somehow found I way to mute notifs

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: And Pastel ignores everyone anyways

 

Beep Boopx15: Please send help

 

Pepsi: No one say anything

 

I Am Real Man: nnnnh

 

Beep Boopx15: Vodka, do you mind if I mute all sounds for now?

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Nah

 

Beep Boopx15: Okay

 

Pepsi: Yo, so where are the others?

 

I Am Real Man: uuuuh @everyone

 

Pepsi: Dang okay

 

Smol Angers: stfu

 

Smol Angers: Attention whores

 

Pepsi: Wow rude jfc

 

Pretzel: What is everyone doing?

 

Pretzel: And where are Red Wine and Steak?

 

Smol Angers: Church, your way. I'm kicking ass

 

Sinner: Whos ass?

 

Pretzel: Not yours

 

Sinner: SshhsHSHShsHshshs

 

Pepsi: Also priest man didn't change his name yet

 

Pepsi has changed Pretzel's name to "Do you love me, cousin?"

 

Do you love me, cousin?: What does this mean

 

Pepsi: Jesus loves you

 

I Am Real Man: Jesus! Do you love me, cousin?

 

Pepsi: No

 

I Am Real Man: Bitch

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Ah

 

Smol Angers: wtf are napoleon and brownie doing?

 

Pepsi: we don't know

 

Do you love me, cousin?: @I envy Cookie Monster @Smol Sebastian

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Canoodling

 

Smol Sebastian: Cuddling

 

Smol Angers: Whoa

 

I Am Real Man: Thats some of that gay shit

 

I envy Cookie Monster: If only Pastel wasn't busy

 

I envy Cookie Monster: He'd be able to bring me desserts!!!

 

Smol Sebastian: I could make you desserts?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: But I want cuddles 

 

I envy Cookie Monster: The dilemma

 

Smol Sebastian: Someone please get him a body pillow or something

 

Ocean (wo)man: On it

 

Respect waman: (son)

 

Ocean (wo)man: Babe

 

I envy Cookie Monster: lmao he just buried his face in his chest thnks

 

Ocean (wo)man: That

 

Respect waman: is cute

 

Weed Mom: On that note

 

Weed Mom: Boston Lobster just started a fire

 

Do you love me, cousin?: w h a t

Do you love me, cousin?: Repeat that again?

 

1 inch shorter: jfc

 

1 inch shorter: Even I wouldn't do that on accident

 

1 inch taller: And this bitch has the IQ level of a fetus

 

1 inch shorter: Don't talk about yourself like that

 

1 inch taller: I'm leaving you to Bloody Mary

 

1 inch shorter: wait no

 

Sinner: Thanks~~

Do you love me, cousin?: I will shoot you

 

Sinner: Shoot me

 

Pepsi: Pretzel has a gun???

 

I Am Real Man: Bitch where?

 

Sinner: He shoots shit in battle right?

 

Sinner: He shot me

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Neither of you knew I had a gun?

 

1 inch taller: It's the fucking left guard on his arms, that's why it's thicker

 

Pepsi: Wait so he can shoot anyone at any time??

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Yes

 

1 inch shorter: Yet he is a holy man

 

Do you love me, cousin?: You all should be too

 

Beep Boopx15: Rw and Steak attend church??

 

1 inch taller: Steak learns latin to rid of Bloody Mary

 

Sinner: Sad face

 

1 inch shorter: Die

 

Beep Boopx15: Yes

 

Smol Sebastian: No

 

Dumb Bi: Wait

 

Dumb Bi: Sorry to interrupt to the death rant

 

Dumb Bi: But Pretzel can't marry??

 

Dumb Bi: Like priests can't marry right?

 

Ultimate T-pose: Yes

 

Do you love me, cousin?: First of all, why ask?

 

Dumb Bi: You make dad jokes

 

Do you love me, cousin?: ...

 

Sinner: w h a t

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Why have you given my position away like this?

 

Dumb Bi: oops lmao

 

1 inch taller: You deserve it for putting us through that

 

Do you love me, cousin?: I deserve God's light

 

Dumb Bi: And also Bamboo Rice doesn't know the fucking difference between a pun, a joke, and a pickup line

 

Ultimate T-pose: Chocolate's pickup line on someone else and Bamboo Rice said "Nice joke!"

 

Ultimate T-pose: And followed it up with "Or was it a pun?"

 

Sinner: I'd do that to piss someone off

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Of course you would.

 

Pepsi: Speaking of pickup lines and such, y'know how convenient Coffee's name is for flirting?

 

Ultimate T-pose: Yes, I know.

 

Dumb Bi: You can call me Coffee cause I grind so fine

 

Ultimate T-pose: You can call me Coffee cause you'll get addicted in one taste

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Stop

 

Dumb Bi: @everyone Flirt with me

 

Ultimate T-pose: jfc

 

Dumb Bi: I'll rate your flirting, cause half of you

 

Sinner: @Do you love me, cousin? Are you religious?

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Yes, why?

 

Sinner: Cause you're the answer to all my prayers

 

Dumb Bi: I think that's Stockholm syndrome

 

Sinner: Kinky

 

Do you love me, cousin?: No

 

1 inch taller: I'll suck you dry.

 

Dumb Bi: But is that a threat or are you trying to turn me on?

 

1 inch taller: Yes

 

Dumb Bi: oh

 

Dumb Bi: Bloody Mary you get full marks if you pester Pretzel into typing a pickup line of his own free will

 

Sinner: Well shit, time to get some work done

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Dear lord, please save me.

 

Dumb Bi: RW gets 8 cause I feel threatened

 

1 inch taller: Damn okay

 

Do you love me, cousin?: I'll form a pact, stay in your damn corner for a month and I do it

 

Sinner: ok, Chocolate I better get some good money

 

Dumb Bi: Oh shit okay

 

Do you love me, cousin?: You can kiss heaven goodbye cause it's got to be a sin to be that horrible.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: I meant to look that good

 

Sinner: Daddy, I've been naughty

 

Do you love me, cousin?: P E R I S H

 

Dumb Bi: 10/10

 

I Am Real Man: @Pepsi You're name must be Cola cause you're soda-licious

 

Pepsi: No I'm Pepsi

 

Pepsi: Alternatively, no it's patrick

 

Pepsi: Alternatively, are you a hamburger pattie? Cause dat ass is juicy. 

 

I Am Real Man: Marry me?

 

Pepsi: Bro

 

I Am Real Man: Bro pls

 

Dumb Bi: That's gay

 

Pepsi: Look at your username

 

Dumb Bi: You got me there

 

Smol Angers: Are you Christmas? Cause I wanna merry you.

 

1 inch taller: Steak

 

I envy Cookie Monster: You're the only one of your squad who hasn't used one yet!

 

1 inch shorter: Your squad hasn't flirted at all

 

I envy Cookie Monster: hhhh shhshshs still!!

 

1 inch shorter: If you were on the McDonalds' menu, you'd be a Mchottie.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Bible study on Sunday.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: All of you are required to attend.

 

Pepsi: Wtf is today's date?

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Friday.

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Can I double stuff your Oreos?

 

Smol Sebastian: @Pastel Patel

 

I envy Cookie Monster: nO-

 

Dumb Bi: Isn't Brownie like 12

 

Smol Sebastian: Sore wa chigayou

 

Dumb Bi: Don't prove me wrong in japanese

 

Smol Sebastian: Suffer

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Savage

 

Beep Boopx15: There isn't a word in the dictionary to describe how much you mean to me.

 

Smol Sebastian: We love and appreciate you, B-52.

 

I envy Cookie Monster: That was so wholesome.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: What does his username mean?

 

Pepsi: How to not be sad 101

 

I Am Real Man: Step 1: Whisper "Beep Boop" to yourself

 

Pepsi: Step 2: Repeat until not sad.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Huh.

 

I envy Cookie Monster: IT WORKS

 

Smol Sebastian: I'm not an organ donor, but I'd happily give you my heart.

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Wow, we're so wholesome.

 

1 inch taller: Not you

 

Pepsi: DDS are purer than us lmao

 

I Am Real Man: Facts

 

I envy Cookie Monser: VODKA

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: If your lips are vodka, then I want to get wasted. 

 

Smol Angers: You're already wasted 24/7

 

Smol Sebastian: This is true

 

Beep Boopx15: How many livers does Vodka have?

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: 50

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Donate some to our lord and savior.

Actually The Drunk Aunt: No wtf

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: leave my ass and 50 livers alone

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: 49 now lol

 

Do you love me, cousin?: mn

 

Dumb Bi: Damn, you're all decent

 

Dumb Bi: The power of food souls

 

Ultimate T-pose: The power of sleep deprivation

 

Beep Boopx15: ^^^ That one

 

Smol Sebastian: Speaking of, you get 8 hours of sleep

 

Beep Boopx15: Stop exposing me, mother

 

Smol Sebastian: Don't call me mother, please

 

Sinner: Mother and Father~~

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Everyone to bed

 

Dumb Bi: It's 2 pm??

 

Do you love me, cousin?: T o

 

Do you love me, cousin?: B e d

 

Do you love me, cousin?: E v e r y o n e

 

Sinner: But Father

 

Do you love me, cousin?: N O W

 

Pain Kink?: okay then


	5. unbelievable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peking and Boson Lobster die (again)

Smol Angers: Unbelievable

 

Beep Boopx15: ?

 

1 inch taller: Truly

 

1 inch shorter: jfc

 

Beep Boopx15: What did the three of you see?

 

Smol Angers: uggghhh

 

1 inch taller: It was awful and you don't need to know

 

1 inch shorter: I'm gonna go train and collapse

 

Smol Angers: give me something wholesome b-52

 

Beep Boopx15: Hmm

 

Beep Boopx15: Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift apart.

 

Smol Angers: dude, thats cute

 

1 inch taller: it is

 

Beep Boopx15: Gorillas hum when they eat.

 

Smol Angers: cute, but how do you type like that?

 

Beep Boopx15: Like what?

 

1 inch taller: Perfectly

 

Smol Angers: Ya

 

Beep Boopx15: Auto-correct

 

Smol Angers: Oh

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: UNBELIEVABLE

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS

 

Smol Angers: oml

 

1 inch taller: I thought they stopped???

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: YOU WITNESSED IT??

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: AND DIDN'T TELL ME??

 

Smol Angers: why the fuck would we tell you

 

Smol Sebastian: Vodka

 

I envy Cookie Monster: We can explain

 

Smol Angers: WAIT WAIT WHAT

 

Beep Boopx15: ???

 

1 inch taller: excuse me what now

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I'VE BEEN BETRAYED

 

Pain Kink?: All of you stfu, I haven't been on here for years

 

Weed Mom: Spill the tea, sis

 

Pain Kink?: Hey @Smol Angers

 

Pain Kink?: What'd you see

 

Smol Angers: It wasn't sebastian or cookie monster

 

Smol Sebastian: Oh?

 

Smol Angers: I found some gay ass idiots making out in the hallway

 

I envy Cookie Monster: whoah lmao

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Gingerbread do a callout!!

 

Smol Angers: pay me

 

I envy Cookie Monster: wha

 

I envy Cookie Monster: I don't have money????

 

Smol Sebastian: You could work?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: but but

 

I envy Cookie Monster: i dont want to

 

Smol Sebastian: @Pastel Patel

 

I envy Cookie Monster: BROWNIE

 

Pastel Patel: No sweets unless you work for it.

 

I envy Cookie Monster: ok but how

 

Smol Sebastian: He looks so smug

 

Smol Angers: You could get rid of those rubes like Macaron and Crepe

 

Beep Boopx15: You could cuddle people for money?

 

1 inch taller: thats a fucking job?

 

Beep Boopx15: Many people did it in the 21st century

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Escort

 

Smol Sebastian: No.

 

Weed Mom: yooooo

 

Pastel Patel: Absolutely not.

 

I envy Cookie Monster: VODKA NO

 

Beep Boopx15:...

 

Smol Angers: ANYWAYS

 

Smol Angers: pick your poison

 

Pain Kink?: I'll pay you to punch Duck Bitch

 

Weed Mom: h o l y s h i t

 

Smol Sebastian: ajkslfgbarln

 

Beep Boopx15: @THE CHILDREN Take him away

 

Pain Kink?: How dare you

 

I envy Cookie Monster: Press F to pay respects.

 

I envy Cookie Monster: F

 

THE CHILDREN: Big F, bitch.

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: F

 

Weed Mom: F, gl bud

 

Pain Kink?: YUXIANG

 

Weed Mom: Suddenly, I can't read

 

Pain Kink?: jfc

 

THE CHILDREN: I'm coming for your ass.

 

Pepsi has changed THE CHILDREN's name to "Duck Bitch"

 

Pepsi: Goodbye

 

I Am Real Man: You took out your phone to die?

 

Pepsi: Sshh

 

Duck Bitch: You're next.

 

Smol Angers: Anyways

 

Smol Angers: What'd you see Vodka?

 

Pain Kink?: Are we ignoring all of Duck Bitch's death threats?

 

Smol Sebastian: Yes.

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Savage but okay

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I saw the 5'5", 5'4", and 5'8" peeps canoodling

 

Smol Sebastian: First of all, we all got taller

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: All ya'll wearing high boots

 

Pastel Patel: You didn't need to say it aloud.

 

Beep Boopx15: Why is Napoleon tiny?

 

I envy Cookie Monster: IM AN INCH SHORTER THAN BROWNIE

 

Smol Sebastian: And? You're still short.

 

Smol Angers: Petition to rename him smol too

 

Weed Mom has changed I envy Cookie Monster's name to "Smol Smol"

 

Weed Mom: btw I saw RW leave all dressed up and its 7 pm

 

Weed Mom: bitch got a date or party or smth?

 

Smol Angers: Date? Hah

 

Smol Angers: I'm actually gonna cry

 

Smol Smol: Not fair I hate all of you

 

Smol Smol: My squad gets half off

 

Pastel Patel: Gee, thanks.

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: ok but you three were cuddling and i wasnt invited

 

Beep Boopx15: Was it an obligated thing?

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Bitty, yes.

 

Beep Boopx15: o

 

Pastel Patel: I was only brushing their hair so they don't look horrible.

 

Weed Mom: Pastel? Cuddling? With? Two? Boys?

 

Weed Mom: Soft

 

Pastel Patel: No

 

Smol Smol: You love me~~

 

Pastel Patel: No

 

Smol Smol: You love Brownie?

 

Pastel Patel: No

 

Smol Sebastian: Recap: Napo wanted comfort so we ended up cuddling after the restaurant closed and eventually he called Pastel over to bring him sweets. Pastel noticed our messed up hair and appearances and began to fix us up while we were still cuddling.

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: It was so domestic and sweet, like I wanted to be part of the cuddle pile

 

Weed Mom: omg

 

Beep Boopx15: They truly are like mums and aunts

 

Smol Sebastian: Mum??

 

Beep Boopx15: I'm Canadian, I use either or. Leave me be, my autocorrect doesn't know which it is either.

 

Smol Sebastian: Ah.

 

Smol Smol: My head was on Pastel's head and Brownie was on my stomach!!

 

Smol Angers: I've been dying this entire time

 

Smol Angers: wtf

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: it mightve been just me but like pastel was just brushing his fingers rhythmically through napos hair

 

Weed Mom: Wholesome

 

Beep Boopx15: How in the world did you spell rhythmically correctly?

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: IM SOBER

 

Beep Boopx15: Press X to Doubt

 

Beep Boopx15: X

 

Weed Mom: X

 

Pastel Patel: X

 

Smol Angers: X

 

Smol Smol: X

 

Smol Sebastian: X

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: This is bullyig

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Five shots to not feel this betrayal

 

Beep Boopx15: Good lord, save her.

 

Smol Sebastian: Anyways, speaking of the lord.

 

Smol Sebastian: @Do you love me, cousin?

 

Do you love me, cousin?: I

 

Do you love me, cousin?:: It's 8:42 P.M.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Stop this madness.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: I'm too tired to read to Vodka.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: But you all should sleep off your sins.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: If I find anyone on, you will be baptized in lava.

 

Smol Angers: Well heckity heck, I crave for death

 

Smol Smol: hnnnn

 

Pastel Patel: audible sigh

 

Beep Boopx15: Wait.

 

Beep Boopx15 has given 'Do you love me, cousin?' Godly Powers

 

Beep Boopx15: We're in boys.

 

Beep Boopx15: Otherwise known as, you have all power over this chat now.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Thank you, may God bless you.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: All the rest of you sleep

 

Smol Smol: Or what?

 

Do you love me, cousin?: p e r i s h g r e m l i n

 

Smol Smol: so good night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, uh, cannot stay committed to anything.
> 
>  
> 
> Update(s) every weekend?


	6. I almost forgot this was a food fantasy chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm too tired this is so short good lord

Duck Bitch: I need help.

 

Pain Kink?: What does this mean and why do we need to now

 

Duck Bitch: stfu you fucking cunt

 

Duck Bitch: I mean-

 

Duck Bitch: Yes

 

Pain Kink?: i am so confused

 

Duck Bitch: Good, the children are playing in the pond and I can fucking kill you

 

Pain Kink?: @Do You Love Me, Cousin? Fucking throw a bible at him

 

Do You Love Me, Cousin?: Praise the lord I do not reside anywhere near you.

 

Pain Kink?: jfc

 

Weed Mom: I give Peking Duck full permission to kidnap you and do whatever he wants

 

Pain Kink?: Fucking rude ass

 

Pain Kink? has added Spicy Gluten

 

Spicy Gluten: WHAT UP SLUTS

 

Spicy Gluten: Wait what is this

 

Pain Kink?: Don't let me get kidnapped jfc

 

Spicy Gluten: Uuuuuh

 

Spicy Gluten: Hold up

 

Spicy Gluten: @Actually The Drunk Aunt

 

Spicy Gluten: This is your problem, not mine lmao

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Good lord, you've left him with me?

 

Pain Kink?: This is the moment I realized I need better fucking friends

 

Beep Boopx15: @Pepsi Target confirmed in attack range

 

Smol Sebastian: That's my line??

 

Beep Boopx15: Oh, sorry

 

Smol Sebastian: No, it's alright.

 

Beep Boopx15: Oh.

 

Pepsi: Whaddup

 

Pepsi: thank the lord for b52

 

Pepsi has changed Spicy Gluten's name to "soff tidd"

 

soff tidd: thank you

 

Pepsi: "Heed, young lesbian."

 

Pain Kink?: Excuse me what

 

soff tidd: who the FUCK said that and where can i cherish them?

 

Pepsi: lamp

 

Pepsi: *lmao

 

soff tidd: l

 

soff tidd: lamp???

 

Duck Bitch: L A M P

 

Smol Sebastian: @everyone Cola is a dumbass

 

Pepsi: BROWNIE

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: B R O W N I E

 

I Am Real Man: b r o

 

I Am Real Man: You got shit on by Brownie

 

Smol Sebastion: First of all, that was Napoleon Cake and I've taken away all his privileges.

 

Smol Sebastian: Secondly, how in the world did you type lmao as lamp?

 

Pepsi: I feel slightly better??

 

Pain Kink?: Do you really?

 

Pepsi: stfu you masochist

 

I Am Real Man: Dude look at your name

 

Weed Mom: Snap

 

Pain Kink?: I'm beginginginginggningiigzl;gn

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Brekaing News: Local Bobster cathes death diases from father duck

Weed Mom: Was that english?

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: idgk

 

Beep Boopx15: I'll stop her

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: ghghghghg no

 

Beep Boopx15: Insert Audible Sigh

 

Weed Mom: Good lord

 

Weed Mom: I just found Boston

 

Weed Mom: He

 

Weed Mom: He's naked again

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: Are you kidding me? Again?

 

Smol Sebastian: Is this a regular occurrence?

 

Weed Mom: Y E S

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: hell to the yea

 

Smol Sebastian: @Beep Boopx15

 

Beep Boopx15: Insert Audible Sigh

 

Weed Mom: Peking Duck and Steak are dead to me

 

soff tidd: oml

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I see your face and that's the right face

 

Smol Sebastian: I'm ending this early, all of you need to work besides the four helping the naked lobster

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: What no

 

Weed Mom: But no, why

 

Smol Sebastian: I'm tired of all of you

 

Beep Boopx15: Um.

 

Beep Boopx15: :(

 

Smol Sebastian: Except B-52.

 

Beep Boopx15: Um.

 

Beep Boopx15: :)

 

Smol Sebastian: I don't know how to react so I'll just get Pretzel to kill the chat

 

Beep Boopx15: Oh.

 

Smol Sebastian: Help @Do You Love Me, Cousin?

 

Weed Mom: That was so weird and awkward

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: You two need to get some social skills

 

Do You Love Me, Cousin: And you should be working, as I should be.

 

Do You Love Me, Cousin Has Relieved The Author From Being Awake


	7. OH BOY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, no, updates on only Sundays now, sorry whoever may be reading this.

soff tidd: I just-

soff tidd: @everyone p l e a s e

soff tidd: convince the local lobster TO FUCKING GET HELP

Duck Bitch: @Pain Kink? Get help, you need it more than anyone else here.

Do you love me, cousin?: Would you like to come to pray?

Smol Angers: I'll hand over my crown as the angriest to you if it helps

soff tidd: no-

Ocean (wo)man: Stop

Respect waman: Get Some Help

soff tidd: That's not the help I meant but also valid

Pepsi: Then what the hell did you mean?

Pain Kink?: WOW SPICE I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS SUDDENLY O U R STAB WOUND

soff tidd: WELL I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE ASSHOLE

Do you love me, cousin?: Dear lord, please send these two help.

Pepsi: Send me help too

Ocean (wo)man: Mood

Respect waman: haha same

Ultimate T-pose: It's time to hop on the depresso expresso

Ultimate T-pose: But also please get medical attention you giant lobster

soff tidd: See???

Duck Bitch: I just took the knife out

Pain Kink?: It hurt like you

soff tidd: w h a t

Duck Bitch: What does this mean

Ocean (wo)man: Good god jfc

Respect waman: Explain

Pain Kink?: I MEANT IT HURT LIKE A BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

Pain Kink?: HE'S A BITCH

soff tidd: I'm sending you to school after you're better smh

Duck Bitch: Send him anywhere away from me

Do you love me, cousin?: That's a mood and a half but add Bloody Marry in there.

Ocean (wo)man: FATHER PLEASE

Respect waman: I

Smol Angers: How much confusion can one being take per inch?

Pepsi: Like 5 ounces

Smol Angers: Shit boy

Smol Angers: Das not good

Pespi: Faux Gasp... Das=Sad

Do you love me, cousin?: I speak 5 languages and this is none of them.

Ocean (wo)man: I know you're ironically being cringey but good god stop

Respect waman: Ahem, hypocrite

Ocean (wo)man: You are the only one who can mock me and I'm okay with that

Respect waman: i love you too

Do you love me, cousin?: As of now, I cannot say I'd ever feel comfortable in life and all I want to be is numb physically and emotionally

Smol Angers: I-

Ocean (wo)man: Get Father a therapist.

Respect waman: Oh shit he snapped

Pepsi: Welcome to priest having an existential crisis

soft tide: this is so surreal

Smol Angers: Do we get a therapist?

 

Ocean (wo)man: I'm having an existential crisis not now

 

Respect waman: Me, but all the time

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Dear lord, send all of us help.

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Perhaps kill us all out of mercy.

 

Pepsi: Oh damn everyone here is so depressed my god

 

Do you love me, cousin?: huh

 

Do you love me, cousin?: @Beep Boopx15 Cancel now

 

Smol Angers: I feel endangered, yeet self

 

Respect waman: same

 

Beep Boopx15: Oh

 

Beep Boopx15: uh

 

Beep Boopx15 has killed the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I wrote a majority of this last week didn't finish it so I missed one. Hn, soz.


	8. B

Pain Kink?: I'm just saying, anyone whose name starts with B is better than others

Smol Sebastian: Wait, what is happening?

Duck Bitch: This idiot is making dumb ass claims

Do you love me, cousin?: He is all the 'Dumby' and none of the 'Thicc'

Smol Sebastian: ...

Beep Boopx15: God has condemned you.

Do you love me, cousin: ...

Smol Smol: You broke him!!

Sinner: Good riddance

Do you love me, cousin: If I were not a holy man, I would have beat you.

1 inch taller: If not for the laws of this land, I would slaughter you.

1 inch shorter: If I were not held back, I would fucking maul you.

Smol Angers: Praise the lord

Pepsi: None of you are okay

Pain Kink?: I'm gonna die

Ocean (wo)man: okay but i dont care at all

Pain Kink?: wow okay

Pain Kink?: Rude as hell

Duck Bitch: Ahem

Pain Kink?: You deserved it

Weed Mom: shut

Smol Sebastian: If any of you attack one another I will force a white flag into your hand

Pain Kink?: I'll burn it then

1 inch shorter: ^^^

Smol Sebastian: You'll burn your own hand off?

1 inch shorter: what

Beep Boopx15: Are you insinuating that you will stab a white flag into their hands?

Smol Sebastian: Perhaps

Smol Smol: Oh shit

Pain Kink?: what in the absolute fuck man

soff tidd: Smol Deadly

Smol Angers: Yeah

Beep Boopx15 has changed Smol Sebastian's name to "Smol Savage"

Smol Savage: Oh

Smol Savage: I love you, too.

Beep Boopx15: I

Ocean (wo)man: That's hecking gay

Respect waman: You

Ocean (wo)man: Reverse Uno Card

Respect waman has changed their name to "Gasp, I'm Gay"

Gasp, I'm Gay: You are correct, my love.

Pain Kink?: good god

Ocean (wo)man: Shut up, you're single

Pain Kink?: Well ExcuuuuUUUuuUUuuusuUUse ME

Pain Kink?: But you dont know that

Pepsi: You have a lover?

Pain Kink?; You ain't know that either

Pepsi: i

Smol Angers: Ain't

Do you love me, cousin?: I cannot tell if you are desperate

Smol Savage: Or just sad

Beep Boopx15: Oh

Beep Boopx15: @Pain Kink? I would direct you to https://www.wikihow.com/Treat-a-Burn

Pain Kink?: This is kink shaming

Duck Bitch: That site is actually pretty useful??

Beep Boopx15: Why wouldn't it be?

Weed Mom: His fucking phone is hekcing broken, on fire, and being watered down

soff tidd: oh good

Ocean (wo)man: Why is Yuxiang with him and not SG??

soff tidd: we traded friends today

Gasp, I'm Gay: what does that mean??

Smol Angers: I want to trade friends

1 inch taller: With whom?

Smol Angers: Fucking anyone

1 inch shorter: well thats rude

Smol Angers: Be hurt

1 inch taller: no

1 inch shorter: No

Beep Boopx15: Highlight of my Day: Red Wine using whom

Smol Savage: Oh, he did that?

Do you love me, cousin?: He knows English?

1 inch taller: Why do you only type to insult?

Do you love me, cousin?: Allow me to vent my anger out here

Ocean (wo)man: Bloody Mary?

Gasp, I'm Gay: Mary?

Smol Angers: BM?

1 inch shorter: demon?

Do you love me, cousin?: E. All of the above

Pain Kink?: @Sinner Get fucked

Sinner: Uhm, rude much, Father?

Do you love me, cousin?: Well I- oop

Pepsi: THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKIONG GOES

Do you love me, cousin?: Yet, "FUCKIONG" is acceptable

Pepsi: BM was right

Sinner: one of us

Sinner: one of us

Sinner: one of us

1 inch shorter: No

Do you love me, cousin: I'm calling a babysitter good lord

Sinner: Are they human?

Do you love me, cousin?: No, I'd rather have to watch you 24/7 rather than let you get to someone.

Sinner: Ever heard of trust?

Sinner: I can hear his footsteps, goodbye my dears~~

Sinner: bye Steak~~~

1 inch shorter: ugh

1 inch taller: BEGONE

1 inch taller: THOT

Do you love me, cousin?: yeeted

Do you love me, cousin?: yoted?

Do you love me, cousin?: Just go gay off somewhere else

Gasp, I'm Gay: Gay Off

Ocean (wo)man: Have I told you I love you this month?

Gasp, I'm Gay: Many times my darling, but i love you too

Smol Savage: Gay Panic?

Beep Boopx15: Big Mood?

Duck Bitch: Oh dear looks like we're delving into hell

Pain Kink?: Just a dip into hell

Do you love me, cousin? has killed the voices in his head (this chat)


	9. Furries

Smol Savage: @everyone What's a furry?

Pepsi: ABORT ABORT ABORT

 

I Am Real Man: thats not right

 

Ocean (wo)man: Excuse me? who taught you that??

 

Gasp, I'm Gay: So, this is what revives this chat?

 

Smol Savage: What is a furry?

 

Beep Boopx15: Ah

 

Pepsi: BROWNIE NO

 

Smol Savage: what is a **furry**

 

I Am Real Man: You dont need to know

 

Ocean (wo)man: please dont look it up

 

Smol Savage: Huh

 

Beep Boopx15: Don't look it up, oh, how I wish I could forget.

 

Smol Savage: Oh

 

Pepsi: HES BEEN TAINTED

 

I Am Real Man: Do we need priest man?

 

Do you love me, cousin?: Do not start with 'furries'.

 

Ocean (wo)man: How do you know what they are?

 

Do you love me, cousin?: @Sinner

 

Sinner: Aww, I was expecting to be exposed in a different way

 

Pepsi: Yeah, Pretzel, make the tea hotter

 

I Am Real Man: Praise the lord

 

Sinner: =(

 

Ocean (wo)man: Cursed

 

Sinner: @Beep Boopx15

 

Beep Boopx15: :)

 

Sinner: BETRAYED

 

Gasp, I'm Gay: Does everyone have an auto-command from B-52?

 

Smol Savage: No, he does what he wants

 

Gasp, I'm Gay: ah

 

Sinner: Anywaysss, the names are kind of boring so change them @Pepsi @I Am Real Man

 

Pepsi: wow okay rude

 

I Am Real Man: I do what I want, but okay

 

 

I Am Real Man has changed Sinner's name to "Crusty Gay"

 

 

Crusty Gay: I would curse you out but I'm not allowed

 

Crusty Gay: @Do you love me, cousin?  ,,Unless?

 

Do you love me, cousin?: No.

 

I Am Real Man: Get cucked

 

 

Pepsi has changed Pepsi's name to "Cooking Utensil"

 

 

Crusty Gay: wow

 

Cooking Utensil: Fucking boil me

 

Smol Savage: You're hot enough.

 

Cooking Utensil: ghfdkfdgd WHAT

 

I Am Real Man: B-Brownie??

 

Crusty Gay: woooah

 

Crusty Gay: Making moves there

 

Ocean (wo)man: @ Smol Savage  please tell me you have higher standards than that

 

Smol Savage: ?

 

Cooking Utensil: Did Brownie flirt with me??

 

Smol Savage: Oh, that.

 

I Am Real Man: itsnotnapoleanagain

 

Smol Savage: Don't worry about it, you wouldn't be able to make it to the stove in the first place.

 

Ocean (wo)man: I

 

Crusty Gay: I'm having a fucking seizurre

 

Crusty Gay: fucking

 

Cooking Utensil: I'm gonna cry

 

Beep Boopx15: Brownie no

 

Smol Savage: @Smol Smol

 

I Am Real Man: Napolean??

 

Smol Smol: ...

 

Smol Savage: gotta run

 

Smol Smol: @everyone  If you see Napolean, tackle him and tell me where he is.

 

Ocean (wo)man: Why is your phone always being taken?

 

Smol Smol: Apologies, Mistress Black Tea, I don't keep my phone in close contact.

 

Ocean (wo)man: It's fine, just don't scare me again.

 

Cooking Utensil: I'm not that bad!!  
  


I Am Real Man: Eeh

 

Cooking Utensil: watch it

 

Beep Boopx15: @Smol Smol  I've got him, we're outside your room.

 

Smol Smol: Thank you

 

Ocean (wo)man: @Smol Smol check your dms

 

Smol Smol: oh uhm 

 

Smol Smol: @Beep Boopx15  <3?

 

Beep Boopx15: 3>

 

Cooking Utensil: No, less than B

  
  
Beep Boopx15: Ɛ>

 

Cooking Utensil: Thanks, I hate it!!

 

I Am Real Man: Thanks, I hate it!

 

Cooking Utensil: woah, man

 

I Am Real Man: bro

 

Ocean (wo)man: Enough of that, how's Napolean?

 

Smol Savage: He's fine

 

Smol Smol: >:(

 

Beep Boopx15: ):<

 

I Am Real Man: Get cucked

 

Smol Smol: Bifty, I thought you loved me!!

 

Beep Boopx15: ...

 

Beep Boopx15: :0

 

Smol Smol: iforgiveyou

 

Cooking Utensil: That's wholesome

 

I Am Real Man: but every time i mess up you insist on letting you skate over my body as an apology

 

Cooking Utensil: okay but

 

Ocean (wo)man: That's why you had those marks of your back?

 

Cooking Utensil: B-52 is pure

 

Cooking Utensil: Wait how did you see them??

 

I Am Real Man: o

 

Ocean (wo)man: Steak

 

Smol Savage: That's why your clothes are always dirty?

 

I Am Real Man: 1. @1 inch shorter Fight Me  2. Also cause im 1 (one) dirty boyy

 

Smol Savage: ...

 

Cooking Utensil: o no

 

1 inch shorter: I dare you, your clothes will be burnt before you get a chance to wash the grim off them

 

I Am Real Man: oh god @1 inch taller  control you mans

 

Ocean (wo)man: They're together?

 

1 inch taller: Fucking christ no

 

1 inch shorter: why would we be?

 

Ocean (wo)man: ,,,

 

Cooking Utensil: whyd you gotta tell em bro?

 

I Am Real Man: ye steak

 

Smol Savage: He's in Bro Cult now?

 

Beep Boopx15: They have a cult?

 

Cooking Utensil: HELL YEAH WE DO

 

I Am Real Man: BRO

 

1 inch shorter: This is why I told Black Tea.

 

1 inch taller: Atleast your useful for something.

 

Smol Smol: EVERYONE SHUT UP

 

Smol Savage: ...

 

Beep Boopx15: :(

 

Smol Smol: okay but my team bc i trust them

 

Smol Savage: Ah.

 

Beep Boopx15: :)

 

Smol Smol: I want sweets please

 

Smol Savage: A h

 

Beep Boopx15: @Cooking Utensil  @I Am Real Man  @1 inch taller  @1 inch shorter  Teamwork, make him sweets.

 

1 inch taller: Gingerbread?

 

Beep Boopx15: Did @Smol Angers  text anything?

 

Cooking Utensil: isshegonnatext?

 

1 inch taller: Shit

 

1 inch shorter: If anything goes wrong I'm burning everything

 

I Am Real Man: Valid but don't kill us

 

Cooking Utensil: I'm kinda happy with my life?? Y'know??

 

1 inch shorter: Just get to the kitchen RW's already there

 

1 inch taller: If you can see me then get your ass in here

 

1 inch shorter: no

 

Beep Boopx15: I'll reactivate the chat when Napolean gets his sweets

 

I Am Real Man: n

 

Beep Boopx15 has killed the chat


	10. Shitepost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is dumb and gay

Dumb Bi: i request a name change sirs @Cooking Utensil @I Am Real Man

Dumb Bi: sirs, please

Dumb Bi: respond you american gays

Smol Savage: They're what now?

Cooking Utensil: akdjshasalfl WHY

I Am Real Man: You've earned your changed name good sire

 

I Am Real Man has changed Dumb Bi's name to "Bicontact"

 

I Am Real Man has changed I Am Real Man's name to "American Gay"

 

Bicontact: yes

Smol Savage: Why do wish to be uncultured gays?

Cooking Utensil: Uncultured? Me? Fucking Cola?

American Gay: Americans were uncultured?

Smol Savage: ,,,

Smol Savage: @Beep Boopx15

Bicontact: Oh no

Beep Boopx15: ...

Beep Boopx15: They (sometimes) romanticized or fetishized humanoid figures that had the appearance of minors and used the excuse that they were actually 1,500 years old. (Lolis?) Also, there were a lot of actual pedophiles.

Cooking Utensil: I-

American Gay: They what now

Bicontact: No thanks

Beep Boopx15: That was too serious, sorry. Back to memes

Beep Boopx15: Fortnite was a thing

Beep Boopx15: Beep Boop

Smol Savage: You did fine, B-52.

Beep Boopx15: Thank you, Brownie.

Smol Smol: Are we supporting Cendrillon?

Smol Savage: Yes; B-52, we appreciate you. :)

Beep Boopx15: Thank you, we appreciate you as well, Brownie. (:

Smol Smol: Yeah!!

Cooking Utensil: wAit A miNuTe nOw

American Gay: eVerY thIngThiNg iS mOviNg waY toO fAsT

Smol Savage: ?

Bicontact: first pedophiles are gross

Bicontact: protect the smols

Smol Angers: Dude, I could be older than most of you

Smol Smol: The Illuminati has been completed!

Smol Savage: Yeah

Cooking Utensil: I looked it up and the amount of crimes were wild

American Gay: Also Fortnite seems like a weird game

Smol Smol: It's very satisfying to win though

Smol Angers: No, gives me too much anger

Bicontact: what in the hell does Cendrillon mean?

Smol Savage: @Smol Smol

Beep Boopx15: @Smol Smol

Smol Angers: Explain Frenchion

Smol Smol: Wow okay, I am french thanks for noticing

Smol Smol: Also, it means Cinderella!!

Cooking Utensil: Wh

American Gay: Why Cinderella??

Smol Smol: Oh!! So Brownie has a ton of books from his last MA (loved him)

Smol Smol: and he read me abook called 'Cinder'

Smol Savage: Is that where it came from?

Beep Boopx15: Cinder?

Smol Smol: Yeah! So the main character is cyborg; part robit and part human

Smol Smol: (No spoilers) She's a great protagonist and she reminded me of Bifty!

Smol Savage: Headstrong, can stand up for themselves at times, at other times they won't despite it being serious, intelligent.

Beep Boopx15: Oh, thank you.

Bicontact: Napoleon reads?

Smol Smol: WOW

Smol Smol: THATS WHAT YOU GET OUT OF THAT

Smol Smol: AND YES I DO

Bicontact: lol

Cooking Utensil: Chaotic Bi

Smol Savage: I

Smol Savage: @Ultimate T-pose

Smol Savage: Tell your boyfriend to stop bullying Napoleon, he wants ice cream now

Ultimate T-pose: Chocolate

Ultimate T-pose: please

Bicontact: I love you?

Ultimate T-pose: I love you too but not now

Bicontact: wasn't what you said last night ;)

Smol Savage: @Do you love me, Cousin?

Smol Savage: Take him

Smol Smol: Take both!

Bicontact: Wait no

Bicontact: Brownie, I thought we were bros

Do you love me, Cousin?: Why would you do this to me?

Do you love me, Cousin?: Bloody Mary wants his phone back now.

Ultimate T-pose: Hah

Beep Boopx15: Let him witness the tragedy among us

Do you love me, Cousin?: ...

Crusty Gay: @Bicontact ;)))

Bicontact: (((;

Cooking Utensil: Contact the hot fire man

American Gay: Which one??

Crusty Gay: Both @1 inch shorter @Pain Kink?

Pain Kink?: whsty di yoj wsnt 

1 inch shorter: What does any of this mean

Smol Angers: That's disgusting Steak, you're sweating all over your fucking phone

Smol Savage: Rice

Beep Boopx15: No

Cooking Utensil: I don't think that's how it works

Crusty Gay: Steak~~

1 inch taller: Confiscate yourself

1 inch shorter: ^^^

Smol Angers: his phone is sweat-filled  goddammit

Crusty Gay: Daddy let me go please~

Do you love me, Cousin?: He's been crucified, I would say we should mourn him, but who really will?

Smol Savage: Big Savage?

Cooking Utensil: iuavabiuarklffjkldl

 

American Gay has changed Do you love me, Cousin?'s name to "Big Savage"

 

1 inch taller: Father Pretzel threatened to snap someone's neck once

1 inch shorter: He did what

1 inch taller: I will never forget it

Big Savage: ...

Big Savage: I regret everything; I shall return to work now.

Smol Angers: All of you are so chaotic

Smol Smol: lolol

Cooking Utensil: okay but wth happened to Bobster

Beep Boopx15: With the exit of Pretzel, we now introduce the mystery drama of @Pain Kink?

Pain Kink?: fyck yoau

Smol Savage: Is he drunk?

Smol Smol: @Actually The Drunk Aunt

Actually The Drunk Aunt: I

Cooking Utensil: Confession?

Actually The Drunk Aunt: No, I didn't get him drunk. I'm not drunk

Beep Boopx15: I believe you.

Smol Smol: tHen wHat iS haPpeNinG

American Gay: But actually, you good lobboy?

Smol Angers: LOBBOY FUCKING CHRIST

Pain Kink?: im fine

1 inch taller: S(he) be(lie)v(ed)

Beep Boopx15: You are ancient

1 inch taller: I would swear at you, but you've been through plenty enough

1 inch shorter: You can have compassion?

Smol Angers: Holy short

1 inch taller: Watch yourself twat

Smol Savage: By god, he's British.

Cooking Utensil: B R O W N I E

American Gay: we're getting so sidetracked its hilarious

Smol Smol: I- yeah, also Minou, that's no t v e ry ni c e

Smol Savage: Sorry.

1 inch taller: Alright

Pain Kink?: Im fine, jfc how many times do I have to tell you?

American Gay: Dude wtf does "whsty di yoj wsnt " mean?

Cooking Utensil: He's sitting cross-legged in some random person's basement

Smol Angers: Explains the bs

Pain Kink?: okay fuck you and also it obviously mean "What do you want?"

Smol Smol: I

Smol Smol: HOW

Smol Savage: Boston Lobster is illiterate?

Pain Kink?: no, i just woke up leave me tf alone

Beep Boopx15: Huh.

Duck Bitch: You'd look awful

Duck Bitch: You are awful

Pain Kink?: He comes only in the form of my demons

Cooking Utensil: Peking with the real balls out here only to bully the shit outta Boston

Pain Kink?: ...

1 inch taller: Phrasing is majorly off but alas

1 inch shorter: istg

Smol Savage: I'm setting rules, you're all insane.

Beep Boopx15: :(

Smol Smol: :'(

Smol Savage: Most of you

Beep Boopx15: :)

Smol Smol: :')

Cooking Utensil: Wow, this is favoritism

American Gay: I demand a refund

Pain Kink?: Okay Karen

Smol Angers: Okay boomer

Smol Savage: That's exactly what I'm talking about.

Smol Savage: I'm going to tell MA, B-52, please can the operation of this chat

Beep boopx15: Say your last words

1 inch taller: @1 inch shorter Fuck you

1 inch shorter: @1 inch taller No you

Smol Angers: Oh shit

Smol Smol: <3?

Smol Savage: <3

 

Beep Boopx15 Killed the Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I am too


	11. Father NO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really like other languages ahah

Bisontact: Excuse me, but I have exactly one (1) question.

 

Bicontact: Minou?

 

Smol Savage: What is this?

 

Pain Kink?: What in the fuck is a Minou?

 

Smol Smol: heyy!! Dont steal my nicknames!

 

Smol Smol: Are you gonna steal him from my team next??

 

Bicontact: what

 

Pain Kink?: is napolean having an affair?

 

Smol Savage: Ah

 

Smol Savage: Minou translates to 'kitty'

 

Bicontact: @Ocean (wo)man  He's growing up oh my goodness

 

Smol Smol: Yea!! Kitty boy!

 

Pain Kink?: I barely associate with most of these people someone save  me

 

Ocean (wo)man: Oh goodness, Kitty?

 

Smol Savage: It's no just me!

 

Smol Savage: Napolean, the others

 

Smol Smol: @BeepBoopx15  Mon Feu!

 

Beep Boopx15: insert smile

 

Smol Smol: @Pastel Patel  Mon Seul Désir!

 

Pastel Patel: It took me decades to realize these are references to the Backstreet Boys

 

Bicontact: I give my blessing

 

Ocean (wo)man: yes, a man of culture

 

Smol Savage: Blessing?

 

Smol Smol: Thanks!

 

Smol Smol: Minou! Let's elope!

 

Smol Savage: Napolean no

 

Pastel Patel: oh dear, napolean is leaving, oh no, the tragedy, brownie is taking him away

 

Pastel Patel: to a faraway land, of which we'll never be able to get to, oh no!

 

Smol Smol: rUDE

 

Ocean (wo)man: You have our blessings, why would you need to elope?

 

Smol Smol: I just like the idea of a prince and his trustful knight riding away from an unaccepting kingdom

 

Smol Savage: I have no royal blood

 

Smol Smol: *trustful butler

 

Smol Savage: Ah

 

Beep Boopx15: Brownie is blushing

 

Smol Savage: B-52

 

Bicontact: HAH GAY

 

Ocean (wo)man: Okay Bi-contact

 

Smol Smol: Aww

 

Smol Smol: Also! @Actually the Drunk Aunt  Il!

 

Crusty Gay: What's an Il? And can you call me Salope?

 

Smol Smol: WHAT

 

Smol Smol: NO

 

Smol Smol: WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY OTHER FRENCH HERE

 

Crusty Gay: ;))

 

Smol Savage: That's not very appropriate

 

Bicontact: What does it mean

 

Ocean (wo)man: I don't want to know

 

Beep Boopx15: ...

 

Beep Boopx15: That is fowl, you dull, hideous creature.

 

Beep Boopx15: @Big Savage

 

Beep Boopx15: Sorry, didn't mean it.

 

Smol Smol: No he deserves it

 

Smol Smol: I AM NOT CALLING YOU SLUT

 

Bicontact: welcome to bible study

 

Ocean (wo)man: He probably gets off on that

 

Bicontact: Bible study?

 

Smol Savage: No, being degraded. Eculé.

 

Smol Smol: MINOU NO

 

Crusty Gay: Oh shit

 

Crusty Gay: Get the support souls

 

Bicontact: What does it mean

 

Bicontact: i m  s c a r e d

 

Ocean (wo)man: You should be

 

Beep Boopx15: Brownie, I trusted you.

 

Smol Savage: My apologies, B-52.

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt: stop @ing me in shit

 

Smol Smol: that was five years ago Vodka

 

Actually the Drunk Aunt: yeah? well

 

 

Actually The Drunk Aunt changed Actually The Drunk Aunt's name to "ReverseUno-UnoOut"

 

 

Beep Boopx15: Demolished.

 

Crusty Gay: Lesbians are wild

 

Ocean (wo)man: Yes

 

Smol Smol: Someone get Pretzel here, only he can heal me with divination

 

Smol Savage: @Big Savage

 

1 inch shorter: Speaking of, Father Pretzel is a dICK

 

Crusty Gay: oh?

 

1 inch taller: @1 inch shorter  Small one, have you peered into a mirror as of late?

 

1 inch shorter: Pray tell, where is your location as of now? I only wish to speak with you, preferably in private.

 

1 inch taller: Oh yes? And in what manner will this talk be in?

 

1 inch shorter: In the duration of this talk, not only will you swallow your words but also my fucking fist

 

1 inch taller: Apparently, I've also swallowed your one inch.

 

1 inch shorter: Drop your location you fucking cuntbag

 

Crusty Gay: Am I invited, my dear Steak?

 

1 inch shorter: Fuck off

 

1 inch taller: Fuck gogh 

 

Smol Savage: Gogh?

 

Ocean (wo)man: As in the artist?

 

Big Savage: ...

 

Smol Smol: KEYBOARD SMASH

 

ReverseUno-UnoOut: Keyboard smashing is for bottoms

 

Bicontact: @Ultimate T-pose

 

Smol Savage: Why do you know this

 

Bicontact: you dont wanna know

 

Ultimate T-pose: In your room, now.

 

Bicontact: Ah shite

 

Bicontact: Gotta run

 

Big Savage: @1 inch shorter  Do you have some issues with me?

 

1 inch shorter: Uuh

 

1 inch taller: Steak, do you need to go to anger management again?

 

1 inch shorter: how about you suck my dick bitch

 

1 inch taller: Yeah?

 

Big Savage: We have children here.

 

Smol Smol: Children? In my Christian Minecraft server?

 

Beep Boopx15: There are children here?

 

Big Savage: A conversation for another time, @Smol Angers  are they fighting?

 

Smol Angers: Uh

 

Smol Angers: I

 

Smol Savage: Oh dear.

 

Smol Angers: Yes?

 

Big Savage: So why is it a question?

 

Smol Angers: They're passively-aggressively glaring at each other cause Cola bet that Steak would draw a weapon first and Hamburger bet RW would

 

Smol Savage: So, what you're saying is

 

Big Savage: They're complete and utter boneheads

 

Smol Smol: PRETZEL YOU SPEAK GERMAN

 

Smol Savage: Napo, you can't ask questions so suddenly.

 

Crusty Gay: You gave me a heart attack :(

 

Big Savage: @Smol Smol  Whatever you did, do it about a dozen more times.

 

Crusty Gay: Oh, you know you love me daddy <3

 

Big Savage: It's Father.

 

Smol Smol: Okay but do you speak german?

 

Big Savage: Yes.

 

Smol Smol: Eyes Emoji >.>

 

Smol Savage: @Beep Boopx15 Stop this harassment, B-52. Please.

 

Beep Boopx15: Alright

 

Smol Smol: o no! Au revoir!

 

Big Savage: One word to the each of you @1 inch shorter  Gehirnverweigerer  @1inch taller Blockflötengesicht

 

Crusty Gay: ooh, burn~~  
  


 

Beep Boopx15 Killed the Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gehirnverweigerer means someone who won't use their brain.
> 
> Blockflötengesicht means who talks but none of their words mean anything, so just air coming out but no meaning behind them.
> 
> Au Revoir is goodbye


End file.
